Sickness What is this? Why is this like this? Am I ill? Why does my heart beat harder every time I see or hear from you? I swear it's a sickness in the brain and I need a vaccination. Too bad you first have to figure out what the diagnosis first before you get the cure. As much as I try the sickness won't go away, it only grows stronger. This isn't some novel, I can actually be poofed away, there's no delete key. The sickness is like bees attracted to pollen, it's there, he's there lingering at the edges. It makes me worried, I can't get rid of it. It won't be cut out, even if the blade goes deep into flesh. I want to scream at it to leave me alone. The sickness is like sticky sweet honey, makes everything so much sweeter then it should. Makes all the moments special when it shouldn't. This sickness is all consuming and I swear the whole world can hear my heart beat against my ribs, see my blood pu
Healing Healings a bitch, touching you with promising hands,nails digging in making an itch.
Dear dad I thought you wanted me to be successful, all I had to do was lose and now I'm so confused. I followed all your logic, tried to throw away my heart, just like what was needed. "Don't let your heart control your head."And yet you're angry at me, yelling how I'm such cold selfish person. Didn't you teach me that to be successful I needed to be the best?To not get down and dirty to help someone else?Aren't I following what you've said?!Haven't I nodded my head and accepted your words that hurt?Haven't I tried to use my brain?Sorry that I had to throw away my heart for that. You want me to talk to you,yet I don't want to disappoint you with my different views. My dear father, one who sacrifices all his time, money and love can't you see?All I'm trying to do is make you proud.Sorry that you can't see I care;these cuts are my repentance.Sorry that you thin
Thump, thumpThump thumpthe heart must beatThump thumpthe rushing in the bodyThump thumpjust want it to endThump thumpthe trees blurThump thumptheir voices are nothingto my earsThump thumpfor some strangereason it hurtsThump thumpit's too hotThump thumpI am fadingThump thumpI'm tired of thisThump thumpdon't look at meThump thumpplease don't pity meThump thumpI want the end to draw nearThump thumpplease. . .I'm not brokenThump thumpgo awayThump thumpon a pillow of flowersI want to close my eyesPlease. . .stop this feeling. . . Please...God must hate me. . . please. . .NoTake me awayand rebuild this soulGod, how muchmust I spill beforeI can be healed?Thump thumpit hurts so muchThump thumpPlease. . .don't look at me
Hatehate/hāt/feel intense or passionate dislike for someone or somethingI hate how my computer is fucking up on meor how I'm writing thisno one caresbut maybe that's why I'm writing itbecause no one will read thisI hate how one of my watch peoplehas told me how obsessive my poems areeven though its trueand it's my faultI hate how I disappoint my fatherand how he gets so silentit tears me up insideI hate how if I give upit will destroy him,make him think that he failedwhen all he did was be a fatherI hate how I cried today when I realized that my future was going to be so coldand hopelessthat I was going to have nothingbut my jobI hate how I accept thatI hate how I sound like awhiny teenagerI hate that no one caresI hate that I careand that I have to push awayI hate that my grandparents thinkmy dad is a devil worshiperbecause he doesn't share their religion I hate that if they find out that I'm